instagrampa: instagrampa: I had to describe myself in three words on my USC application and I couldn’t think of a good third word so I just wrote “cat” and I planned on changing it but I forgot and sent it in. I did not get into USC.
annefranksgasmask: i never participate in class i just sit there and look fine as heck
sherlock-hound: i miss the generations when a guy had to ask a girl out by asking her parents, where a girl could just be beautiful in a tshirt, where bubonic plagues decimated villages across europe and left a third of the population dead. reblog if u agree
wack-zittman: Buying stuff online gives me a reason to live for another 5-7 business days.
gaymzee: please dont make jokes i am a joke and it offends me
blamscuits: “you is kind, you is smart, you is important” i whisper to myself as my hilarious post gets zero notes
I taught a class of sophomores for 30 minutes last week and I honestly do not understand how people can be teachers and not hate their lives. All the blank stares and misery.
The shortest horror story ever:
ranchdressingroom: Join me as I perform a medley of Skrillex songs in a kitchen by turning on a blender with a ton of rocks inside of it.
Someone needs to take my laptop and slap me in the face with it.
5ollux: Error 404 Your haiku could not be found Try again later.
jamtards: instead of wife swap they should do blog swap where they force two bloggers from different catagories to act like the other for a week and try to fit in
unadoptable: I will ride a boat to school tomorrow on a river made of tears.
On Friday: Okay, you have a lot of homework to do this weekend so you'd better split it up evenly each day. That way you'll get the hard stuff out of the way and you'll be able to relax on Sunday and not worry too much about the coming week. It's really important that you do this stuff and not fuck around, just sit down and power through it. It's going to work out really well and you'll feel really accomplished and you should just really take initiative because honestly if you don't you're going to get super overwhelmed and then you'll end up stressing on Sunday night and not getting any sleep and then you'll be tired during school and it really is just a vicious circle so, come on, you got this, you can do this.
On Sunday night: Well, fuck.
andthatlittleblackdress: honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous shit and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I’m on The Office
Two teachers made me deliver their secret leprechaun presents today. Just because my last name is Gaffney does not give you the right.
They’re making freshmen at my school read The Old Man and the Sea. no no no no They can’t appreciate it at that age.
Him: My arms are going to fly out of oregon, over the rockies, across the great plains and up the eastern seaboard to wrap around you. I think you are wonderful.
itsjeremiah: an update that requires me to restart my computer is an update that is never getting installed.
“She’s on that level when bitches be killing they’re exes wives in those movies kinda shit.” A facebook comment about my cousin.
patronsaintofqualityfootwear: if you say “bloody maury” into a mirror three times you will be the father
le0pord-spots: Nick Carraway and Jay Gatsby are my OTP.
dustydanger: My heart is all yours. I’ve got other organs, though. My kidneys and shit.
I don’t look both ways when I cross the street because if I get hit by a car then I won’t have to do my homework.
killself: what a sunny day let’s all move our laptops closer to the window